Reflective Essay

I was used to writing five paragraph essays. In high school that is how I learned to write my papers. Even when I was in my senior year I was still basing my paper formats on the five-paragraph essay format. So naturally that’s how I wanted to write my papers for English 101 my first semester. The five-paragraph essay is not how you write college papers. I felt behind from the start in English 101 because I wanted to write my papers in the five-paragraph essay style. When I did, my teacher told me that I should not be writing in this style. He said “The five-paragraph essay style is almost primative and it is easy for teachers to grade because it is set up with the introduction paragraph, the three main point paragraphs, and your conclusion, so teachers can read and grade more papers faster.” I feel the five paragraph essay format is almost rigid in the sense that it limits our critical thinking that we are supposed to being doing at this point in college. So then I was writing papers by putting what I thought out on the paper and adding an intro and conclusion. I did this my entire first semester. I hardly took notes, if at all, and a lot of the time I didn’t use quotes to back up my ideas. So when it came to my end of semester portfolio assessment I tried to write 3 papers and I had no idea what I was doing.
In my first semester English 101 it was really hard to understand what the teacher wanted us to do with our papers because the teacher really didn’t grade our work or give us that many notes on it. I was always turning to my classmates’ work and the handouts that were given in class as a guideline when I tried to write my papers. I did all the readings (Adam Phillips “Houdini’s Box”, James Baldwin’s “Stranger in the Village” and Gloria Anzaldua’s “Entering the Serpent”) so it wasn’t like I didn’t know what I was writing about, I did, but my thoughts were scattered and it was hard for people to read my papers, the teacher and the portfolio review board both commented that my thoughts were scattered, making my papers hard to read. So I came out of my first semester English 101 in the same place I came in, asking the same question, how do I properly write a paper and what do I do to make it college level?
Having to take English 101 again, I was frustrated; not only with myself but also with my previous teacher because I felt that teacher really didn’t care or give all that much help. So with my second semester English 101 I had a lot of learning to do and was very worried on how this semester was going to go. This semester went very smooth for me. The teacher told us to write however we wanted or could, but to engage in the readings. She wanted us to connect with the authors and the stories. Being an actor, I understand how to connect with an audience. But it took me awhile to figure out that I should engage with the readings and almost treat it as I would a play. Where I, the actor, must find the character and audience, even though this engagement and finding is ever changing.
After reading the stories, we wrote papers as usual but our teacher told us to write the best we could and how it was easy for us. Then going off this idea, my teacher gave us assignments and readings about blogging and texting. Incorporating what we, as teenagers and young adults, do every day, texting and blogging, made writing papers comfortable and not so scary and intimidating. We also wrote critical interpretations about the actual stories we read, using the student handbook as our guideline and then revising and talking about other classmates work alongside my own. This helped me because I am a visual learner, so I got to see what some students were doing that was different, and in some cases, better then what I was doing. I was engaging with the work and reading because I was able to engage with the thoughts, ideas, and comments of my classmates’. I take this knowledge from my class and from the comparison of the papers to revise and to help create a paper that would be good and up to a college level, also one that meets the handbook criteria.
When I do get my papers back, with notes, I like to start the revision process. In my revision process I go to my old paper with the notes then I add or change the lines and/or paragraphs to what the notes say and then add more, like quotes or more sentences that help to back up the revised lines.
This semester of English I feel that I have gained so much more knowledge on how to put together a well-rounded paper that not only informs; but also challenges,and engages the reader. I understand how to think critically and how to explain my critical thinking on a page. I also learned how to incite the reader with the same thought process that I had while reading a story or excerpt. I also understand how and when to use quotations properly to enhance my ideas with support. Overall I’m so glad that I’ve gained these concepts because I know they will be crucial when I progress into English 102.


Critical Interps.

“You’re good, man. Don’t ever forget, Rob. You’re the best” (Wideman p.691). John Edgar Wideman wrote about his brother Robby in his text “Our Time”. Wideman wrote about how his younger brother Robby was trying to forge his own path in life, but Robby was doing it on the wrong side of the law. Although Robby’s family tried to protect him from a harsh city life, Robby felt that street crime was the only thing he would ever be successful at. Through the adversity that Robby endures Wideman conveys the message that there are a lot of influences in our lives, bad and good, but ultimately family is the greatest influence.
Robby’s fall to the streets began when he was living home alone with his mother. Wideman was living away from home and it seemed he didn’t know, or was ignoring, what Robby was doing and how that was affecting his mother. “I didn’t have to deal with the day-to-day evidence of Robby’s trouble. The syringe mom found under his bed. The twenty-dollar bill missing from her purse. The times he’d cruise in higher than a kite, his eyes reduced to pinpricks, with his crew and they’d raid the refrigerator and make a loud, sloppy feast, all of them feeling so good…” (Wideman p.696) Robby’s family neglected him at the time. John was away and his mom didn’t know what to do to help Robby’s situation. This gave Robby the perfect opportunity to be absorbed by his new friends. Robby was just rolling with his crew, having a good time, knowing that his crew would look after him. Robby was replacing the emptiness of his home life by hanging out with his friends. With his older brother living far away from home, and his mother avoiding confrontation, he kept rolling the streets, and getting into trouble with his friends. He was influenced by his friends to keep rolling the streets, getting high or strung up. While he was having a good time living life by his own terms, his family suffered. Robby’s mother was affected by his life because she was worried about her son but she didn’t know how to reach out to him and help him. “A son she loved would be pursued, captured, tried, and imprisoned by the forces of law and order. Throughout the ordeal her love for him wouldn’t change, couldn’t change. His crime tested her love and also tested the nature, the intent of the forces arrayed against her son.” (Wideman p.699) Robby’s mother loved him but never said anything. She was torn between her son and the law. She would always be next to her son, loving and caring for him throughout all he did. But she respected the law and watched as her son was taken away.
Robby greatest influence to stay on the streets and live a life of crime was because of one man, Garth. Robby met Garth, or Garfield, when he was in junior high. He and Garth did what they did best. Partied, got high, stole, and soon they wanted more. They put together a crew so they could roll on the streets and be badass men. Their crew were five guys; Garth, Robby, Michael, Cecil, and Sowell. They all looked up to Garth as their leader and they followed every decision he made. The crew did their thing, from getting high and stealing to selling drugs and murdering. Because Robby’s had no one else to look up to Garth was like a father figure for Robby, and a huge influence on his life. “Garth pointed to the street and said, if we ever make it, it got to come from there, from the curb. We got to melt that rock till we get us some money. He grinned then, ain’t no big thing. We’ll make it brother man. We got what it takes, it’s our time.” (Wideman p.694) Garth made Robby believe that from the bottom of the streets they would create a life of their own. Garth gave Robby hope for a future and Robby clung on to that hope.
“Something had crawled into Garth’s belly. The man said it was nothing. Sold him some aspirins and said he’d be all right in no time. The man killed Garth.” (Wideman p.694) The death of Garth left Robby was devastated. He’d now lost his best friend and the person he looked up to the most. When Garth died, Robbie felt that the best part of his life died with him. “The night after Garth’s funeral, Robby and the crew sat and got stupid from drink and smoke, didn’t know what to do, searching their thoughts”. (Wideman p.694) Robby was still influenced that night of Garth’s death: “Garth would have figured out a way to make it special. They’d be knights in shining armor… the dead one always with us cause we’d swear to never let him down. It’s our time now, we can’t let Garth down” (Wideman p.695). This influence of Garth’s death, and the things Robby did with his life and the crew lead Robby to jail.
John Wideman finally tried to help his brother after seeing the depth of his brothers’ troubles and the depth of his mothers hurt. Wideman comes back to Pittsburg to help his brother out. “That day, six years later, I talked with Robby three hours, the maximum allotted for weekday visits with a prisoner. It was the first time in life we talked that long.” (Wideman p.704) Wideman listened to his brother. He wanted to help Robby. Robby was now stuck in jail and had nowhere to turn, except for his family. After all these years of Robby’s downfall and his older brother finally comes to help him out. You’d think this would upset Robby but he opens up to his older brother and tells him his story. Robby has had time to reflect and think about his past and his life and somewhere in that jail cell he realized how he could help. His brother being John Edgar Wideman, an author/writer of books, Robby decides to use his brother’s gifts to tell people about his own downfall and destruction to inspire them to use their gifts and talents for good. He puts it into a story called “Our Time”.
Robby says “That’s all I knew. Street smarts. Stop being a chump. Forget that nickel-dime hoodlum bag. Be a star, rise to the top.” (Wideman p.727) Robby did have many influences in his life like his friends, Garth, his mother, all influencing him to do what he does best. It was ultimately Robby talking to his brother John that gave him hope and influenced him to tell his story “Our Time”. To let readers know that we can have hope. We need to use our talents and our gifts for good. We should be inspiring our friends and getting help from our families to do well. Family is ultimately the most caring.



Norman Maclean's A River Runs Through It explores many feelings and experiences of one family, but mainly the two brothers, in Missoula, Montana during the “turn of the century”. In the original work of fiction we follow the Maclean's through their joys and sorrows. Robert Redford also made a movie based off the novella. The names of the characters and places are not purely coincidental though. These are the same people and places known by Norman Maclean as he was growing up. In a sense, A River Runs Through It is Maclean's autobiography. I will explore and analyze some of the differences throughout the book and movie.
The characters in the movie and book are taken straight from Maclean's life, especially from his family. The character of Paul appears to be the most true to life member of Norman's family. The audience quickly becomes familiar with Paul and his quick-tempered, always ready for anything attitude. This is evident in the beginning of the story with Paul's frequent phrase "...with a bet on that to make things interesting” (Maclean 6). Norman and Paul were rigorously home schooled every morning, while Paul seemed to want to escape this torment, and at times so did Norman, but Norman wanted to set an example for his parents and excel in academics in a later age. The boys would spend their afternoons frolicking in the woods and fishing the Big Blackfoot River. The differences that developed between Paul's and Norman's fishing styles become evident in the book and movie versions of Norman’s life. Even from the beginning of the story Norman is explaining how he fly fishes. “The four-count rhythm, of course, is functional. The one count takes the line, leader, and fly off the water; the two count tosses them seemingly straight into the sky; the three count was my father's way of saying that at the top the leader and fly have to be given a little beat of time to get behind the line as it is starting forward; the four count means put on the power and throw the line into the rod until you reach ten o'clock-then check-cast, let the fly and leader get ahead of the line, and coast to a soft and perfect landing” (Maclean 4). Norman followed the traditional style taught by their preacher-father, ten and two in a four -count rhythm. While Paul on the other hand developed his own way, shadow casting. This style of casting different was symbolic on how the boys’ were different. Besides the different ways of casting, and Paul at an early age not caring too much about school, Paul had a gambling and drinking streak in him. Paul's tendencies of getting into high stakes poker games without a clear head and then try to fight his way out of debt was what eventually leads to his demise.
The documentation of Norman Maclean's life is very similar to his real life; there are some subtle differences that exist between the book and the movie. In the movie version of A River Runs Through It, directed by Robert Redford, the middle part of the movie is taken up with Norman's courting of Jessie, his real life wife. This is different from the book because as the book progresses, Norman is already married to Jessie. One other difference between the movie and the author's real life is a small scene in which the Maclean boys "borrow" a rowboat and run the rapids of a nearby river. Although untold in the story, Redford as a director created these scenes to make a better movie. In the book and movie versions of A River Runs Through It, Norman and Paul spend all their lives in Montana except for when Norman attends Dartmouth. Paul went to a state school in Montana. Norman went on from Dartmouth to become an English professor, which is very prestige. Paul stayed in Montana and became a journalist. It was Norman who got a job for Paul in the university's press relation's department. Perhaps what happens next in the deviations from the story is one of the most disturbing. Instead of dying while fighting in his own home territory, Paul died in unfamiliar streets in Montana, away from home. A victim of several severe blows to the head. It is disturbing to hear of the death of Paul Maclean, however it soothes his brother Norman to write that Paul died fighting with all of the bones in his right hand broken. "Like many Scottish ministers before him, he had to derive what comfort he could from the faith that his son had died fighting” (Maclean 103), Norman writes as an author about how his father felt about Paul’s death. The Macleans’ father was a preacher and had to suppress, in a way, his Scottish blood; The Scottish blood that gave Paul his anger and strength. This line near the end of the story not only tells how Preacher Maclean must have felt in the book, but it symbolizes Paul’s life for Norman that his brother didn’t just lay down and die, he died fighting. This gives him, and Preacher Maclean, the piece of mind knowing that Paul's soul will rest peacefully.
There were differences and similarities between A River Runs Through It, the book and movie, but Maclean wrote this for him to help cope with his own real life feelings. He wanted to ease his pain through his writing.


good luck to all of you, and thank you Dee Dee for ALL the caring and help! It is greatly appreciated. :D